Man, did I just get busted.
CRIME: Running out of maple syrup. And substituting sorghum.
MOTIVE: I volunteered to make maple bacon for a wedding-shower brunch at work tomorrow. But I miscalculated on the maple syrup. And I needed something gooey to drizzle on the rest of the bacon strips to candy ’em up. I almost always have Kentucky sorghum in the cupboard, because I don’t go through it very quickly AND it lasts for years. So sorghum bacon was born tonight, my friends.
WITNESS: My husband caught me tasting (re-tasting) (re-re-tasting!) the drippings of the candied-sorghum-bacon drippings in the bottom of the pan. He actually testified that my eyes were rolled back in my head. Is that even legal?
EVIDENCE: Sticky fingers.
VERDICT: Oh, girl, you are so totally guilty!
SENTENCE: Step on the scale tomorrow.


Looks so good…I can’t wait! You know, there was a recent crime in Canada regarding maple syrup. Someone was siphoning off the syrup, in rather large quantities. Breakfast terrorism, no doubt.