Monthly Archives: June 2013

Now, why I didn’t stop and snap a photo of the actual dress in the actual window, I’ll never know. Wasn’t on my blog game, I guess. But what happened was that Dave ‘n’ LuAnn and Bill ‘n’ I were touristing around Chicago on Friday, when LuAnn spotted a dress in a tony Oak Street shop window. “That looks like the outfit in Pretty Woman,” she laughed. And it did! It was hilarious that the very “dress” that was too trashy for Rodeo Drive back in 1990 is now being offered as couture in 2013.

And if this little irony isn’t enough for a quick lil ginnygram, there is also this…

On one of my many trips to Italy for the Children’s Book Fair in Bologna, my friend and colleague (yes, frolleague) Jennifer and I had just shopped for a Furla handbag for Jennifer’s mother. Jennifer was carrying the handsome white and black Furla shopping bag, as we chatted along the edge of the Piazza Maggiore.

“Excuse me,” said a young woman with a British accent, “but where is the Furla shop?” She nodded to Jennifer’s bag.

Jennifer explained there are actually two Furlas in Bologna, but we liked the one just around the corner, because they’re eager to practice their English and are very helpful.

“Oh, lovely,” the British woman smiled, “No one pays attention to me in most of these stores.”

She motioned to her outfit — t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

“You know, I’m looking pretty grotty, but I’m feeling Pretty Woman!”

“Butterfly?”

“Flower?”

“UPS truck?”

“That’s not a UPS truck, silly! That’s a garbage truck!”

“He can call me a UPS truck, if he wants to.”

Please say hello to the Young Prince of Forest Glen Avenue. Born Saturday, no bigger than a house cat, and somewhat hidden by a boxwood, downspout, and a planter.

Today there were a skillion garage sales in the neighborhood! And I didn’t even know it until I drove to my hair appointment around 12:30. I hadn’t seen the signs going up on Friday, because I was home all yesterday.

So DARN IT. All the good stuff would be gone by the time I got my hair cut and got home to fetch Bill. You wouldn’t expect Bill to be a good sport about garage sales, but he has a really good eye for “treasures.” In fact, he spotted an old Trimline wall phone, which we purchased for a cool two smackers. It is avocado green. You may see it in the bathroom at the lake house.

Anyway, my point is that all the sales were totally picked-over.

Or were they?

And no, you will not see him in the bathroom at the lake house.

Hi! Miss me?

I just got home from this pretty little town in the middle of Kentucky, where I enjoyed five days of being my mother’s daughter. She and I thought about it, and we decided that it has been 30 years since I visited her all by myself. And guess what. There wasn’t one second when I thought I should open up my laptop and blog!

But I did think about it. I probably stored a few stories in my head, for later or never. Here’s my favorite.

Last Christmas night, a tornado ripped through Mobile, Alabama, where my brother Monty’s family lives. Their home was amazingly spared, but a few blocks away, my nephews’ high school suffered significant damage. Sadly, their English teacher lost his collection of Southern American Literature, so the call went out to help rebuild his classroom library.

Mama and her neighbor Kay collected 12 copier-paper boxes of books. Six boxes each. And while the tape got organized for shipping the boxes from Danville to Mobile, the boxes gathered dust in the front hallways of each lady. Kay’s son is a Delta executive, and is Monty’s childhood friend. He offered for Delta to ship the books on their dime. How nice is that? But the “how” of it got complicated. Finally, they decided to just Fedex them.

So Mama and I loaded the boxes into my station wagon, along with Miz Kay’s hand truck. Danville doesn’t have a Fedex location, but it does have a Mailboxes Etc. We weren’t certain they could deal with the boxes of books, but we headed there anyway.

I left Mama in the car and went in to talk to the big feller behind the counter. He was very nice, and explained that he could fill out the 12 bills of lading for $5 apiece, and then we could leave the boxes in a corner for pick-up. Oh, and there’s a particular way to tape the boxes, too.

Mama and I drove back home with the bills of lading, and filled them out at her kitchen table. Then we unloaded all the boxes to re-tape and label them. As we were reloading the boxes back into my car, Miz Kay was toodling past us on her way to a meeting. She pulled up and rolled her window down to ask if she could help. We were almost finished, so no-but-thankyew. She said something about stars in my crown, and I said something about no good deed going unpunished, and we all laughed.

Mama waited in the car while I wheeled two boxes into the Mailboxes store on the dolly. Inside, the guy took the dolly and said he’d come help with the rest. He was pretty big, so I knew he’d haul more than my measly two at a time, so phew!

At my car, he took one look at my mother and gave her the biggest squeeze ever! Miz Biles! If I’d a-known it was you with all these books! (But I’d let her rest in the car, silly me.)

This giant young man told her, “Remember my poem? Fat, Ugly, and Slow? You gave me a 10 out of 10 on it. And you wrote on it that I wasn’t fat, ugly, or slow. I still have that poem.”

Stars in whose crown, hmmmm?